Glad you're here! I'm the co-host for the Thankful Thursday Blog Hop with voiceBoks.

Today I am thankful for so many things. For Jesus, for my family, for good friends, for music, for church, for the giggles from the kids tonight, for blessings undeserved. What are you thankful for? Keep reading below, then link up with us...



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He is definitely a beach baby. Can’t help it. He gets it honest.

Tonight we went out onto the beach, he and I, just as the thick pink line around the horizon was beginning to shrink. It was the perfect time of day.

Fascinated by the ocean, much like I am, he didn’t blink as I held him on my hip and walked the short trip down the sand. He was mesmerized by the sight and sound of the waves. With excited squeals escaping his lips and legs kicking full force, he itched for that feeling on his toes from a few days ago. Finally those toes touched the water and he was able to just enjoy it for a while.

After a good showering of splashed water on both of us, we walked up to a dry spot of sand and I set him down in front of me, my legs encircling his. At first, he just looked at the sand in front of him. Then his feet started kicking. And they didn’t stop.

His rhythmic kicking started forming a cute little heart shape right there in front of us.

As he continued to kick his energy out, I sang I Love You Lord. Reminisced about a campfire 20 years ago when I first learned that song. It is now a theme song of my life… one that I sing in my head when bad thoughts come in.

I love you, Lord, and I lift my voice. To worship you. Oh my soul. Rejoice. Take joy my King in what you hear. May it be a sweet, sweet sound in your ear…

May it be a sweet, sweet sight to your eyes…

May it be a sweet, sweet smell to your nose…

May my life be such that everything I think, say, and do looks like worship to you.

In the midst of my own worship moment, I looked down at Little Man and realized that he was worshiping too. Kicking those little feet against the sand was his way of saying thank you to God. I love your sand, God. I love your ocean, God. I love sitting here with my mommy, God. Thank you.

Worship is such a simple act. It’s not about what manner we choose to do it. It’s not about the songs we sing. Worship is our way of telling God thank you. Of showing him that we love him with all that is within us.

I’m pretty sure Little Man’s kicking was a sweet, sweet sight to His eyes.

So when the pink horizon shrank enough that it was just a spot disappearing behind the buildings, we got up and walked back to the condo. Leaving behind a cute little heart made by Little Man’s feet. Beach Baby’s worship offering to his King.

Thank you God for letting me see worship tonight through the eyes {and feet} of my baby boy.

Wow, there are some good waves today.

At first, I was frustrated about staying in the condo because little man needed a nap. But as I sit here on the balcony watching my family play in the ocean, I have nothing to complain about. Typing away and relaxing with my coffee beside me. Finally some me time.

We have such a special family. See all those people in the picture? That’s them. Right now, the adults are standing around talking at the water’s edge while the kiddos are playing in the shallow surf. Jeffrey is testing a boogie board made for little people, while Katherine is carrying a bucket that is almost as big as she is. Yesterday, we watched baby Josh feel the waves hit his toes for the first time.

I. Am. Blessed.

I’m trying to take in every breath. To enjoy every moment I’m given while we are here this week. Vacation goes so fast. Just like life.

What moments have you been missing out on lately? Stop today and just try to take in every moment. They go away too quickly.

It was strange. A feeling I didn’t expect. I had just dropped off both kids at school for the first time this year and I felt sad.

This summer was tough. There were times that I wasn’t sure I would make it through. Times when I questioned my ability to be a mother to 3 young children. August couldn’t come soon enough.

I was sure that relief would come over me after I dropped two of the kids off. After all, it was a particularly difficult morning. But inside of me, something else took over. A simple twinge of sadness that said a piece of me was missing. Two of my babies were now inside that big building for the day… for the week… for the school year… for a long time.

I’m glad this emotion took over. Thank You, God, for showing me that I do love my job as Mommy. Thank You for reminding me that my family is my greatest ministry. Thank You for not allowing me to feel relief as silence took over my car.

For this simple twinge of sadness that You gave me, I am grateful.

What are you thankful for today? Link up with us and share.

Her face said it all. The corners of her little mouth turned down… her lower lip poking out a little further than the upper. Red blotches covering her cheeks and forehead. Tears streaming, as her eyebrows angrily formed a V above her nose. Mommy was finally putting her foot down. No more pull-ups.

For months, we have struggled with the potty. Good days and bad days. The bad days dominated by stubbornness and a need to be in control. Hmmm… Katherine is definitely my daughter. She has moments where she fights me with every bit of physical and emotional strength she’s got.

But I love her. With every bit of strength I’ve got.

I guess God often sees me as I described Katherine in the first paragraph. Still fighting  to get my way. Still holding onto my pride. My need for control. My need to have it “my way.” Becoming weaker by the minute.

The pride fight is especially tough for me. Sometimes I think I struggle more than others. Remember The Truman Show? Somewhere in the deepest part of my soul, in the parts of me that I don’t like to examine or talk about, I feel like I am supposed to be Truman. The world is supposed to revolve around me. But that is not who I really want to be. It’s just my selfish human nature. 

My pride gets in the way of so many blessings that God has prepared for me. Somehow I get mixed up, believing that the things I WANT are the blessings God SHOULD want for me. And holding on to those wants is exactly what prevents me from receiving God’s true blessings. I can only find out what He really wants for me when I give it all over.

Sure I have (a lot of) moments where, like Katherine, I fight Him with every bit of physical and emotional strength I’ve got. And in the same way that I love Katherine with everything I’ve got, I’m thankful that…

He loves me. With every bit of strength He’s got.

It's Tune-In Tuesday again! A day where we meet together to worship. Here is what we do on Tuesdays at Grow Where You're Planted:

Each week, I share about a song that God is using in my life. One that is speaking to me in whatever season I may be going through. The invitation is for you to jump in and do it, too! Here are the steps:


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Some days, Katherine goes to bed singing… then she wakes up singing. Definitely a music lover to the core. (I have NO idea where she gets that from!!) :o)

These lyrics are some of her favorites… “Christ is risen from the dead. We are one with Him again. Come awake, come awake, come and rise up from the grave.” If you haven’t heard Christ Is Risen by Matt Maher… listen to it below. In fact, play it while you’re reading the rest of this post. Awesome!


One day, Katherine kept singing the same lyrics over and over again. So, I decided to play the whole song for her on my iPhone. For the rest of the day, she asked for it again and again with a big smile… “Play Come Awake, Mommy!” “I want to hear Come Awake!” You know what's funny? Come Awake is not the title of the song. Sometimes I think we should let the kids name the songs.

Think about what the lyrics are saying to us. So often, we remain in our guilt and shame. We take up residence. We dwell on the past. We dwell on the regrets. Yes, I do it. (By the way, if you missed my testimony, you can read it here on my friend Karen’s blog.)

This song has taught me that if I choose to stay in my guilt and shame, I am not doing what God has called me to do. Christ died and rose again so that we would “come awake” and live in the risen mindset. He doesn’t want us to stay dead in our sin… in our shame… in our regret. If we have truly repented, then He is calling us to wake up. To let go of the past and reach FORWARD! In the RISEN life! In Philippians 3:14, Paul calls us to “…press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”

If we live defeated lives, we are useless for the kingdom.

How are you doing in the regret area? Have you realized that all of your past sin can now be turned around and used in others’ lives? Do you seek out opportunities for God to use you to help others move out of sinful patterns and lifestyles? Or are you still dwelling on the sin? If we try to forgive ourselves in our own strength, we will just stay in a defeated cycle. But with Christ in control, we can put the sin behind us so that we can come awake and live again. A new life! A new day! A new song!

Oh church! Come stand in the light!
The glory of God has defeated the night!
Our God is not dead! HE’S ALIVE! HE’S ALIVE! 

We can learn a lot from our kiddos. When I keep my eyes open, our little ones teach me something every day. They view life from an innocent perspective. A point-of-view that we grown-ups sometimes miss because of the doubt, regret, and fear in our lives. I'm thankful that God used our little girl to remind me to come awake!

Your turn! :) Don't have a blog? No worries... Just comment below. Thanks for stopping by.

I haven’t done a 5 Minute Friday in a couple of weeks. This one, however, really spoke to me. If for no other reason, I’m doing this one because I need to do it. I need to be reminded that all the little things that frustrate me are actually there to show me how strong God is. Here we go…

GO

I am grateful...

For the toys on the floor that I seem to pick up 200 times per day...
It means the kids are full of life and love to play.

For the dishes that continue to stack up no matter how much I clean them...
It means we have food to eat, no matter what else may be going on.

For all of the little things in the house that need to be fixed...
It means we have a house that God has provided for us to live.

For the noise, the screams, the fights...
It means the kids are healthy and have some grit about them.

For the disrespectful phase that we seem to be going through right now...
It means God has trusted us enough to teach them how to come out of it.

For the financial struggles...
It means God trusts us enough to let go and trust Him (even though we fail).

For the tears, the feelings of failure, the spiritual warfare...
It means God wants to use us for something that we can’t even see yet.

For the years of wilderness that have brought us to now...
It means that God never gave up on us and has a bigger purpose.

For the things in our lives that hurt. The things that we just don’t understand...
It means God is teaching us that He is in complete control.

STOP

What are you grateful for today? Would love for you to tell me… and also to jump in with Lisa-Jo and link up.



If you are finding this blog today and you have experienced any kind of pregnancy loss, I also want to invite you to see my post from July 4^th – The Pain of Miscarriage. I’m doing a survey to help my research to put together a resource booklet for women who are experiencing miscarriage. Would love for you to take the survey if you feel led.

Death is a part of life. The grief that goes along with some types of death is hard to comprehend. Miscarriage is one. For women who lose a child, even early in pregnancy, it is an incredibly painful experience.

My husband and I have had 2 miscarriages. You can read about our second one here: Still, Part 2 of 2. Since the time of that miscarriage, my heart has been burdened for hurting women. The women who went through a pregnancy loss without completely grieving… The women who are going through it now… The men beside them who are trying to be strong support while they are trying to deal with their own grief.

God has led me to this point. I am in the beginning stages of research for a new resource eBook that will help all involved to cope with the pain of pregnancy loss. I’m hoping that you all might be able to help me with this research.

Have you experienced miscarriage or another type of pregnancy loss? Do you know someone who has? If so, please let me know… by comment or email. And if you are willing, please click here and take a survey about your experiences. Your answers will be used to help others understand and work through what they are experiencing. And if you are on Twitter, Facebook, any social networking channels… please spread the word. Thanks ahead of time for helping!

A few weeks ago, I wrote about the changing of the seasons. In the past six months or so, several seasons of my life have changed:

• I left work to come home and be a mommy;
• Joshua was born;
• Jeffrey graduated preschool;
• Because of changes at the church AND my not working there anymore, the sense of my “identity” in ministry has changed;
• My best friend moved away.

Accepting change has proven extremely difficult for me. I get stuck in comfort zones that seem to be missing the exits… at least in my mind.

I'm guest posting again... Today at my friend Karen's blog: The Couch. Today I'm opening myself up and letting God use my testimony as He will.
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Purity and personal holiness begin on the inside. Who we become ultimately begins with what we allow ourselves to think and “feel.” My passion for talking about purity stems from years of mistakes and struggles within my own life. You see, about eleven years ago, I almost destroyed my marriage. Almost. I did everything I could to destroy it… but God had other plans…  Click here to continue reading at The Couch.

I hope you will join me... then come back and leave a comment. Have a wonderful Memorial Day!

As is becoming a tradition of mine, I'm linking up on Lisa-Jo's page today for 5-Minute Friday. She also gives us a challenge to write without worrying if it's just right. Today's prompt is "deep breath." Here is what came out of this prompt for me...

GO
I need to take a deep breath of patience… when my 3-year-old won’t listen as I tell her that if she would just stand still it wouldn’t hurt for me to brush her teeth.

I need to take a deep breath of love… when my heart goes to the bitter place where I forget about all of the love in my life.

I need to take a deep breath of music… when I just need to hear something that soothes my soul like nothing else can.

I need to take a deep breath of the grass of the ballpark… when I just need to remember a time when life was simple.

I need to take a deep breath of the ocean air… even when I’m not there. To close my eyes and envision that
I am at my favorite place to sense God in the world.

I need to take a deep breath of kindness… when I feel overwhelmed by taking care of everyone.

I need to take a deep breath of perseverance… when I recognize that I am not “naturally wired” to be a stay-home mom.

I need to take a deep breath of trust… when we are hit with so many financial burdens and Jeff can’t go back to school when we had planned.

I need to take a deep breath of God’s goodness… when the day is hard and I have just forgotten how much He has blessed me… beyond measure.

I need to take a deep breath. And just let go.
STOP

Want to join? Visit Lisa-Jo and link up!

Smell is one of our strongest senses. In fact, it is the sense known to be the closest link to memories. I can remember two smells that will never leave my memory…

When Katherine was born and we brought her home from the hospital, there was a very distinct smell that stuck with me. The smell of the {clean} newborn diapers that they gave us in the hospital. Katherine smelled like them. The sweet little pink knit cap that she wore home (and that she still puts on sometimes) smelled like them. Her teeny tiny “coming home” outfit smelled like them. It seemed like everything smelled like them for a short time.

I remember never wanting that smell to go away.

In fact, when we were preparing for Joshua’s arrival (our new addition), the thought of that smell came back to mind. I remember wanting to do everything I could to keep that smell for as long as I could. Call me crazy…

I guess I didn’t want to let go of that season.

When Ma passed away a few years ago, there were only a few of her possessions that I wanted to keep for myself. Things that reminded me of times with her. Old 45s that we used to dance to in the living room. I can still see her coming through the doorframe into her living room, bouncing and snapping her fingers… singing “these boots are made for walkin’…” I believe my love for music started in that very living room.

The only other things I wanted were two blankets that smelled like Ma’s house. When I was a little girl, I would lie down on my “favorite couch” with the scratchy fabric, and Ma would come and gently place one of those blankets over me. It was one of the most comfortable places I remember from childhood. I barely use those blankets now… for fear that Ma’s smell will go away.

Again, a season that I don’t want to let go of.

Change is inevitable. We lose people tragically and suddenly… or painfully and slowly. People close to us move away… or become distant to us even though they stay in the same place. Our ministry focuses change direction. Babies grow up.

When we change from one season of our lives to the next, Jesus is the One who is always there to hold us up and walk us through. Unfortunately, most of the time we focus on the here and now… and push Him to the side. We cry over the seasons that pass and the people we lose… and don’t let Him guide us through. We get angry because of painful situations (beyond our control)… and forget that He is THE Controller. We throw up our hands as if to give up… and don’t ask Him to lead.

In this life, the ONLY thing that stays the same is Jesus Christ. Do you know Him? And are you letting Him lead you and walk you through the changing of the seasons? If you are in the midst of a season change, just let go. The next season is ultimately where you need to go anyway.

Lisa-Jo invites us to join in a 5-Minute Friday, using the prompt, "Motherhood should come with..." I am not allowed to edit, just write. And for 5 minutes flat! :) Make sure to look at the bottom of this post for a giveaway! Here we go...

GO
Motherhood should come with a cape. Mothers are truly superheros in everything that they do in a day. As I get older, I have more and more respect and admiration for my mom. She put up with a lot as I was growing up and taught me more than I wanted to admit when I was younger. Now, I am thankful for all of that teaching. :)

There are so many days that I wonder if I will survive. Motherhood should come with a free pass to get out of town anytime you need to. For me, that means the beach. I would love to have a free place to stay at the beach for any time that I need to escape for a few days.

Motherhood should definitely come with an instruction book. Well, we actually already have that. If we read the Bible like we should, we have lots of instructions for how to raise our kids. Maybe not the little details of the day-to-day, but when we stay close to Jesus, He will get us through those times when it just seems tough.

Motherhood should come with instant anti-selfishness. I thought when I became a mom that all of my selfish ways would just disappear. Unfortunately, they did not. It's still a constant battle.

Motherhood should come with a bag full of help. Meaning that we should have been given unlimited resources to help us get through all of the day-to-day.
STOP

Okay, I got through it. :) This is definitely not the easiest thing I have ever tried to do. I'm such an editor!!!
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GIVEAWAY!!!
Okay, I am giving away a DVD of unPLANNED, the story of Abby Johnson, former Planned Parenthood leader whose life was changed. If you haven't heard her story, read my review from yesterday. Here are the steps to be entered in the giveaway:

1. "Like" Grow Where You're Planted on Facebook and follow me on Twitter. (See sidebar for links.)
2. Leave a comment on this post or send me an email telling me how Abby's story speaks to you. Make sure to include your email address.

The winner will be announced here on Monday, May 9th. If you are the winner, I will send you a certificate that you can take to your local retailer and receive your free DVD. Good luck! Make sure to spread the word so others can enter.

This morning, Katherine came into the living room smiling and just said, "I ya you!" Then she wrapped her little arms around my leg. It was one of those moments that make you melt. So precious. This was the first time she has said it without one of us saying it to her first. As you can imagine, I cried, then I picked her up & held her. We danced for a while. This was a morning for being thankful. More and more everyday I recognize just how blessed we are... and how far God has brought us. Our family is a miracle.

growwhereyoureplanted.org

The journey that led me to October 2, 2009, was one that I have kept pretty quiet... until now. God allows everything that comes into our lives for a reason, and if we keep all of our struggles inside, how can we help others get through the tough times? So here we go...
.........
It started out as a surprise on Monday, August 17. I went to the doctor and got the news… SURPRISE! We’re pregnant! It certainly wasn’t planned, but we were extremely excited... more than we thought we would be. So, we started planning... quietly. We decided to wait until we went to the doctor for our 1st ultrasound before we told anyone outside of family and very close friends. For 3 1/2 weeks, we were filled with thoughts of... a new addition to the family... boy or girl?... due in April!... will this be our last child?... need to find a bigger house!

Our first ultrasound was set for Thursday, September 10. Jeff and I sat in joyful anticipation as we waited for the nurse to call us.

Amazing how emotions can change…

As the technician pulled up the pictures on the screen, we giggled as we looked at the head, arms, legs, etc. Obviously, the baby was small at this point, but you could still make it out. The tech seemed to be focusing on something, and then finally she said, “I'm having trouble finding a heartbeat.” By now, I was about 8 weeks pregnant, so the heartbeat should definitely have been detected. After looking at one more screen, she turned off the monitor and just told us how sorry she was. Within 15 minutes, our excitement suddenly turned to shock and utter sorrow.

The next step was to wait for the inevitable miscarriage. For 3 symptom-free weeks, my inner struggle grew deeper and deeper. Could the doctor have been wrong? There were so many emotions… confusion, sorrow, guilt, anger, frustration, pain, indifference... numbness... too many to really explain.

On Sunday, September 27, reality hit. I began to have signs that ultimately led up to Friday, October 2. When I actually lost the baby that Friday night, it was incredibly difficult, physically and emotionally. My amazing husband helped me through it... helped me to understand the situation for what it was.

This was my second miscarriage. The first was October 22, 2006... in between Jeffrey and Katherine. We again grieved the loss of this precious baby, and also thanked God for our two beautiful children... knowing more than ever that they are both here for a purpose!

What started out as an incredibly difficult weekend became a blessing in disguise. I was able to celebrate “new life” by sharing in the experience of a very dear friend’s wedding on Saturday evening. On Sunday morning, hidden behind my guitar, I experienced an incredible time of personal worship... At a time when I had wanted to ask “Why, God?”... all He wanted was for me to be still. As we worshiped to that special song, Still, it became crystal clear that God works together every little detail. Maybe the details don’t always turn out as our finite minds would have imagined, but GOD works ALL THINGS together to accomplish HIS greater purpose!

We were never promised that it would be easy. We were never promised that difficult circumstances would not come into our lives. “Peace like a river” does not mean the water is always “still” on the outside. A river progresses through several different levels of rapids as it winds down its path... at least on the surface. But deep down, at the foundation, it is always... still.

“Be still and know that I am God...” Psalm 46:10

www.growwhereyoureplanted.org

Tonight was a “date night” for Jeffrey and me. On our way to putt-putt, he kept endlessly reminding me of how he was going to beat me! Those of you who have been following this blog know that I am the “competitive perfectionist”. Well, maybe I let go of that a little tonight.

For about 3 holes, I was focused on trying to get him to hold his club right, to stand on the right side (he hasn’t figured out that he’s not left-handed), and to TAKE HIS TIME!! After screaming “TAKE YOUR TIME” about 30 times, I finally decided to just let him play. Amazing how much more fun we both had when it didn’t matter how he hit the ball. I saw how precious it is to watch a 3-year-old just enjoy playing for fun… with Mommy. I mean, it won’t be long before we are deep into the competitive side of sports anyway, and then will I be missing these days?

I got lots of hugs and love tonight... but I also got a bonus... as usual, Jeffrey had one of his profound messages that always inspire me. He kept running to stand with me every time he finished putting… and one time, he looked at me and said, “Mommy, can I stand with you when you miss?” And of course, I responded with, “Yes, of course you can. You can always stand with me.” His response was simple and heartwarming... “Mommy, God stands with you when you miss, too.”

How in the world were we blessed with two such precious children? God is so good. Just remember the words of an innocent 3-year-old… God stands with you when you miss.

No wonder Jeffrey is becoming the inspiration for a lot of my writing…

www.growwhereyoureplanted.org

Oh, the joy of Starbucks...

I'm sitting here at my favorite place to relax, just enjoying some "me time". It's amazing how a $4 cup of coffee and my computer can give me the feeling of so much freedom, as if there aren't dishes to wash, laundry to take care of, and mouths to feed.

I have always been a loner, even venturing to take short trips by myself. There is a feeling of deprivation if I don't get at least a couple of hours to myself each week. :) But how does this time need to be spent? It's different every time. Sometimes I write, sometimes I spend time with God, sometimes I read and sometimes I just like to enjoy the time with my coffee.

We all need a "mommy break" sometimes. I believe it helps us to become better mommies, because we are able to break away for a while and see what we really have waiting for us at home. It helps me to appreciate the fact that God has blessed me immensely, and my precious family deserves the best that I can give them.

I went into my 8-month-old daughter’s room this morning to find her standing up in her crib, holding the rail. In shock, I thought to myself, “where did the time go?” I can remember being in the hospital delivering that little miracle just like it was yesterday. Time passes so fast, and we miss it in our day-to-day worries.

One of my favorite John Lennon lyrics says, “life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.” How true! How often do we sit down in the middle of the day just to play with our kids or enjoy a good cup of coffee instead of worrying about “tomorrow”? My challenge to everyone reading this is to take an hour today and just enjoy “where you’re planted”. We only get one chance to live each moment, and I don’t want to look back and wish I had taken more time to notice the little things.