So, this weekend I was convicted of something. I need to update my blog more often!!!! :o) Believe it or not, I have written more than I have actually published over the last 10 months or so (just haven't gotten any of it to "publish" stage). SO... for the next few days to weeks, you will see some of those writings posted. God has been working on me in a lot of areas of my life, and I am anxious to share it with all of you! FYI... upcoming is a post (or a series of posts) about "seasons" in our lives. Do any of you have any thoughts to share about how you have experienced seasons in your own lives? It will help me as I'm writing... More later...

Clear the stage and set the sound and lights ablaze
If that's the measure you must take to crush the idols.
Chuck the pews and all the decorations too
Until the congregation's few then have revival.
Tell your friends that this is where the party ends.
Until you're broken for your sins you can't be social.
Then seek the Lord and wait for what He has in store
and know that great is your reward, so just be hopeful.

Cause you can sing all you want to.
Yes you can sing all you want to.
You can sing all you want to
And don't get me wrong, worship is more than a song.

Take a break from all the plans that you have made
And sit at home alone and wait for God to whisper.
Beg Him please to open up His mouth and speak
And pray for real upon your knees until they blister.
Shine the light on every corner of your life
Until the pride and lust and lies are in the open.
Then read the word and put to test the things you've heard
Until your heart and soul are stirred and rocked and broken.
 
Cause you can sing all you want to.
Yes you can sing all you want to.
You can sing all you want to
And don't get me wrong, worship is more than a song.
Worship is more than a song.

Anything I put before my God is an idol.
Anything I want with all my heart is an idol.
Anything I can't stop thinking of is an idol.
Anything that I give all my love is an idol.
We must not worship something that's not even worth it.
Clear the stage and make some space for the One who deserves it.
 
And I can sing all I want to.
Yes I can sing all I want to.
I can sing all I want to
And still get it wrong...

And you can sing all you want to.
Yes you can sing all you want to.
You can sing all you want to
But don't get me wrong, worship is more than a song.
Worship is more than a song.
Worship is more than a song.
Worship is more than a song.

Clear the stage and set the sound and lights ablaze
If that's the measure you must take to crush the idols.

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I love turtles. One of the coolest animals God has created. Just look at their shells... perfectly created for protection and safety.

Any time I see a turtle crawling across the road, I have to stop and pick him up. Just can't stand to think that the next car to come by may not be as careful as I am.

So... today, we had a turtle adventure. As Jeffrey and I were driving home this morning, I noticed this little guy making his way across the road in front of me. Not really caring who was behind me, I proceeded to pull the car to the side of the road and get out. As I walked up to him, he seemed to have no fear. I was expecting him to shrink into his shell like most turtles do when they sense danger. However, this one kept his head and legs out the whole time. I picked him up and held him as we finished the trip home (only about a mile).

We put the little turtle out on the back porch and let Katherine look at him and giggle like she always does when she likes something. (Sidenote... that little giggle is a sound I will NEVER grow tired of!) Then, Oreo decided to jump into the action. She sniffed him and stayed right with him... and still the turtle showed no fear. I was amazed. This was definitely the most confident turtle I have ever seen. After we watched him for a while, we let him go in the backyard. He was gone by the time we checked again.
 
Our turtle adventure got me thinking about how we stay in our shells so much as Christians. We're afraid of what people might think if we "put ourselves out there." When we have Christ in our lives, we have no reason to fear. He promises to never leave us or forsake us. When he calls us to do something, no matter how big or how small, he will equip us to finish the task. The only thing He asks is that we get out of our shells!

What is it in your life? What are you hiding from? Has God called you to do something, yet you are letting fear control you? It's time to just trust Him and do it... Get out of your shell!

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind."      2 Timothy 1:7 

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I am a mess. It's time to get real.

You know, it's easy to look fine on the outside, yet be in a bad place. When you realize (or admit to yourself) that you have been in a "slow fade" progression, you have to stop and face the music. Only God knows what is going on inside each one of us. There has been so much going on inside of me over the past few months that is far from what it should be… pretty much the opposite of the fruits of the spirit. It all comes down to an unsurrendered soul.

So, now I’m taking stock. Humbling my prideful heart. Recognizing, yet again, that the perfectionist is not perfect. Repenting. Confessing all the junk. Finding my way back to my first Love, my Creator.

For the past several months, I have been trying to fulfill something missing inside of myself instead of fulfilling what I believe God has called me to do. In a crazy mixed-up way, the very thing I thought was my “calling” turned out to be my own selfish desire… and the one I thought was my selfish desire has turned out to be where God wants me. Now here I am back where I belong...
       
           worshiping with my husband and supporting him in his ministry…   
                                                
                                      playing the guitar… singing… writing… praying.

God is good. He knows we mess up. He knows we get off track. He knows everything we think, say, and do. He still loves us… not in spite of who we are, but BECAUSE of who we are. Every struggle is a test. It is an opportunity for God to get glory because of something that only HE can accomplish THROUGH us.

So I am facing the music… literally and figuratively. Things I am called to do have been neglected because of trying to prove myself and coming up empty. The focus has been on the things and people, not on the GOD of those things and people. So I’m coming back around and surrendering this wandering soul. I’m going to give my all to Jesus. I’m going to correct the wrongs in my life. I’m going to sing. I’m going to play. I’m going to write. This is who I am… because of who He is.

“You will seek Me and find Me when you seek Me with all your heart.” - Jeremiah 29:13

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So, I went for a long walk today. My mind has been searching for peace lately, which seems to be nonexistent. The "why" has FINALLY really hit me. My mind has been "stayed" on the wrong things. Read these words by John Waller (straight out of Isaiah) and then I'll talk a little more about it:

     Thou will keep me in perfect peace when my mind is stayed on You.
     Thou will keep me in perfect peace when my mind is stayed on You.
     Peace flowing like a river; peace never to be stolen.
     The peace that You give is not of this world; my mind is stayed on You.

For a LONG time now, I have been chasing my own ambitions... It's human nature, but I'm finally realizing the slow fade course I have been on... in every area of my life. I don't like what I see when I look in the physical mirror, but more importantly, I don't like what I see when I look in the spiritual mirror. My mind has been "stayed" on myself. Self-centeredness & selfish motives lead to a LACK of peace. Focusing on Jesus & recognizing His desires for my life lead to a GAIN of peace. Needless to say, there are going to be some major changes in my life, and I'll be writing more about this in the next few days.

Just want to encourage you to think about this one question: What is your mind "stayed" on? Self and the things of this world.... or Jesus and the things He wants you to be focusing on?

You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in You. - Isaiah 26:3

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This morning, Katherine came into the living room smiling and just said, "I ya you!" Then she wrapped her little arms around my leg. It was one of those moments that make you melt. So precious. This was the first time she has said it without one of us saying it to her first. As you can imagine, I cried, then I picked her up & held her. We danced for a while. This was a morning for being thankful. More and more everyday I recognize just how blessed we are... and how far God has brought us. Our family is a miracle.

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I woke up Saturday morning and realized that I had been "processing" in my sleep. My heart is so passionate about some of the things God has placed into my life right now that I have trouble turning off my mind. That morning, my unconscious (and then conscious) thoughts were consumed by a project that is in the works right now. A repeating question in my head... "What are our capabilities versus what should we actually be doing?" I know I need to stop obsessing. But this reminded me of what Paul said… All is permissible but not all is beneficial. Different context, but still makes you think. Back to the basics. Keep it simple. Don’t make things so complicated that people are overwhelmed and they miss it. Keep the main thing the main thing. Don’t let the focus and the vision get lost in all the details. Simplify. What is going to keep people coming back for more of JESUS, not more of US? And THAT is what it comes down to... again... It's all about Jesus, not all about us.

Less is more.

Those three little words say so much. Less complication leads to more understanding. Less focus on "the way things have always been done" leads to more focus on Jesus. Less fulfillment of my own desires leads to more glorification of Him.