Death is a part of life. The grief that goes along with some types of death is hard to comprehend. Miscarriage is one. For women who lose a child, even early in pregnancy, it is an incredibly painful experience.

My husband and I have had 2 miscarriages. You can read about our second one here: Still, Part 2 of 2. Since the time of that miscarriage, my heart has been burdened for hurting women. The women who went through a pregnancy loss without completely grieving… The women who are going through it now… The men beside them who are trying to be strong support while they are trying to deal with their own grief.

God has led me to this point. I am in the beginning stages of research for a new resource eBook that will help all involved to cope with the pain of pregnancy loss. I’m hoping that you all might be able to help me with this research.

Have you experienced miscarriage or another type of pregnancy loss? Do you know someone who has? If so, please let me know… by comment or email. And if you are willing, please click here and take a survey about your experiences. Your answers will be used to help others understand and work through what they are experiencing. And if you are on Twitter, Facebook, any social networking channels… please spread the word. Thanks ahead of time for helping!

I would like to invite you all to be a part of a special webcast, Unite for LIFE, with Abby Johnson on Tuesday, May 17th, at 8:00 PM (all time zones). You can sign up to join this FREE webcast at www.uniteforlifewebcast.org. You will be able to purchase unPLANNED, the book, and the unPLANNED DVD together at a discounted price and $10 from each purchase will support crisis pregnancy centers. See below the video for a special opportunity to win a free copy of the unPLANNED DVD.





Win a free DVD!
As a member of the Tyndale Blog Network, I have the privilege of being able to offer one person a FREE copy of Abby's story in DVD format. All you have to do to enter for a chance to win this DVD is the following:

1. Follow me on Twitter and "like" Grow Where You're Planted on Facebook (if you haven't already done these). See links in the right column.
2. Leave a comment on this post, letting me know why you would like to have a DVD of this incredible story. Make sure to include your email address.

This contest will be open through Friday, May 20th at 12:00 noon. I will choose one winner, who will receive a certificate for a free DVD. Thanks for entering... and don't forget to register for the Unite for Life Webcast on Tuesday! Make sure to spread the word!


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Smell is one of our strongest senses. In fact, it is the sense known to be the closest link to memories. I can remember two smells that will never leave my memory…

When Katherine was born and we brought her home from the hospital, there was a very distinct smell that stuck with me. The smell of the {clean} newborn diapers that they gave us in the hospital. Katherine smelled like them. The sweet little pink knit cap that she wore home (and that she still puts on sometimes) smelled like them. Her teeny tiny “coming home” outfit smelled like them. It seemed like everything smelled like them for a short time.

I remember never wanting that smell to go away.

In fact, when we were preparing for Joshua’s arrival (our new addition), the thought of that smell came back to mind. I remember wanting to do everything I could to keep that smell for as long as I could. Call me crazy…

I guess I didn’t want to let go of that season.

When Ma passed away a few years ago, there were only a few of her possessions that I wanted to keep for myself. Things that reminded me of times with her. Old 45s that we used to dance to in the living room. I can still see her coming through the doorframe into her living room, bouncing and snapping her fingers… singing “these boots are made for walkin’…” I believe my love for music started in that very living room.

The only other things I wanted were two blankets that smelled like Ma’s house. When I was a little girl, I would lie down on my “favorite couch” with the scratchy fabric, and Ma would come and gently place one of those blankets over me. It was one of the most comfortable places I remember from childhood. I barely use those blankets now… for fear that Ma’s smell will go away.

Again, a season that I don’t want to let go of.

Change is inevitable. We lose people tragically and suddenly… or painfully and slowly. People close to us move away… or become distant to us even though they stay in the same place. Our ministry focuses change direction. Babies grow up.

When we change from one season of our lives to the next, Jesus is the One who is always there to hold us up and walk us through. Unfortunately, most of the time we focus on the here and now… and push Him to the side. We cry over the seasons that pass and the people we lose… and don’t let Him guide us through. We get angry because of painful situations (beyond our control)… and forget that He is THE Controller. We throw up our hands as if to give up… and don’t ask Him to lead.

In this life, the ONLY thing that stays the same is Jesus Christ. Do you know Him? And are you letting Him lead you and walk you through the changing of the seasons? If you are in the midst of a season change, just let go. The next season is ultimately where you need to go anyway.

Lisa-Jo challenges us on Fridays to write about a topic for 5 minutes... no editing allowed. Hard for me? We'll see! :) This is my first 5-minute Friday. Here we go...

GO.

Today is a good time to stop and think about the real meaning of "hard love."

But He was wounded for our transgressions; He was crushed for our iniquities; upon Him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with His stripes we are healed." - Isaiah 53:5

When you think about the cross, what do you think about? Do you think about the images of crosses that we see as Christians? Maybe you think about Jesus hanging there. Maybe you think about the forgiveness and are thankful.

Do you ever stop to really think about the pain?

Imagine for a minute the man we call our Savior, in numbing pain from a series of beatings, carrying a heavy wooden cross to Calvary. He can barely walk because of the weakness that has overtaken Him. When He gets up the hill, completely exhausted, His body is then pierced with nails. As the men hammer the nails into his hands and feet, his flesh is pierced, and blood streams out. When the cross is raised, it is dropped into the ground, thus pulling more at the wounds in his body. Oh the pain. Then think about the mental anguish as He cries, "My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?" The aloneness in that incredible last moment on the cross.

As we approach Easter and we think about our Savior, may we remember the hard love that He suffered for us... and be eternally thankful.

STOP.

Would you like to join us in 5-Minute Fridays? Stop by Lisa-Jo's blog and jump in!

The journey that led me to October 2, 2009, was one that I have kept pretty quiet... until now. God allows everything that comes into our lives for a reason, and if we keep all of our struggles inside, how can we help others get through the tough times? So here we go...
.........
It started out as a surprise on Monday, August 17. I went to the doctor and got the news… SURPRISE! We’re pregnant! It certainly wasn’t planned, but we were extremely excited... more than we thought we would be. So, we started planning... quietly. We decided to wait until we went to the doctor for our 1st ultrasound before we told anyone outside of family and very close friends. For 3 1/2 weeks, we were filled with thoughts of... a new addition to the family... boy or girl?... due in April!... will this be our last child?... need to find a bigger house!

Our first ultrasound was set for Thursday, September 10. Jeff and I sat in joyful anticipation as we waited for the nurse to call us.

Amazing how emotions can change…

As the technician pulled up the pictures on the screen, we giggled as we looked at the head, arms, legs, etc. Obviously, the baby was small at this point, but you could still make it out. The tech seemed to be focusing on something, and then finally she said, “I'm having trouble finding a heartbeat.” By now, I was about 8 weeks pregnant, so the heartbeat should definitely have been detected. After looking at one more screen, she turned off the monitor and just told us how sorry she was. Within 15 minutes, our excitement suddenly turned to shock and utter sorrow.

The next step was to wait for the inevitable miscarriage. For 3 symptom-free weeks, my inner struggle grew deeper and deeper. Could the doctor have been wrong? There were so many emotions… confusion, sorrow, guilt, anger, frustration, pain, indifference... numbness... too many to really explain.

On Sunday, September 27, reality hit. I began to have signs that ultimately led up to Friday, October 2. When I actually lost the baby that Friday night, it was incredibly difficult, physically and emotionally. My amazing husband helped me through it... helped me to understand the situation for what it was.

This was my second miscarriage. The first was October 22, 2006... in between Jeffrey and Katherine. We again grieved the loss of this precious baby, and also thanked God for our two beautiful children... knowing more than ever that they are both here for a purpose!

What started out as an incredibly difficult weekend became a blessing in disguise. I was able to celebrate “new life” by sharing in the experience of a very dear friend’s wedding on Saturday evening. On Sunday morning, hidden behind my guitar, I experienced an incredible time of personal worship... At a time when I had wanted to ask “Why, God?”... all He wanted was for me to be still. As we worshiped to that special song, Still, it became crystal clear that God works together every little detail. Maybe the details don’t always turn out as our finite minds would have imagined, but GOD works ALL THINGS together to accomplish HIS greater purpose!

We were never promised that it would be easy. We were never promised that difficult circumstances would not come into our lives. “Peace like a river” does not mean the water is always “still” on the outside. A river progresses through several different levels of rapids as it winds down its path... at least on the surface. But deep down, at the foundation, it is always... still.

“Be still and know that I am God...” Psalm 46:10

www.growwhereyoureplanted.org

I just found out that a close friend of mine from college died last year.

Kellie was actually my roommate during my sophomore year at ECU. We lost touch over the years, but I remember her as an amazing person, one of those who always has a way of making you smile. Dance was a true passion of hers and she literally seemed to dance through life.

So many thoughts have run through my head… how God brings people in and out of our lives during different seasons… how we must live each day to the fullest… how we must tell our friends and family how much we love them every chance we get… how I want to leave a legacy of love… added to all of this, I have been questioning how I am living my own life... dancing or just existing…

We must cherish every day. We must cherish those who have been brought into our lives. Though most are with us for only a season, each one helps to form who we become. Kellie definitely influenced my life in many positive ways, and that is how I want to be remembered…

How will you be remembered...